Naked or Nekid?

I believe it was Jeff Foxworthy who taught us all the difference between the word "naked" and the redneck word "nekid." Naked means you have no clothes on. Nekid means you have no clothes on and you're up to something.

In a world where we are constantly bombarded by pictures of nekid women on the cover of magazines, the current issue of Elle Magazine features a picture of a naked (and very pregnant) Jessica Simpson. Now as a man, I know that ANYTHING I write on this subject will be biased and perverted. I have an X and a Y chromosome, and according to most women today, that is all I'm capable of rising to (don't go there) when discussing the subject of female nudity.

So instead of allowing my testosterone to get me in trouble, I instead direct you to the current post on the Christianity Today blog for women...Her-meneutics... titled The Best Naked Pregnant Woman on a Magazine Cover.

(http://blog.christianitytoday.com/women/2012/03/the_best_naked_pregnant_woman_1.html )

Whether you agree with the article or not, take the time to read the comments section. Flame after flame, written by good Christian women (hey, that would be a good name for a television show) who obviously disagree with Caryn Rivadeneira's praise of the cover. Women far more concerned about the marital status of Ms. Simpson. Where is her shame? How can Christianity Today justify the glorification of adultery and sin? The naked (not nekid) female form should never be put on display.

I'll let the article, and the comments, speak for themselves. But I would like to ask a fundamental question. Since God created man and woman naked...and looked upon His creation and declared it to be good...how would nudity be looked at if Eve hadn't succumbed to the lies of Satan in the form of a serpent?

Having traveled to countries where public nudity is a non-issue, and the pregnant female form is almost worshiped, I have to wonder if many of those commenting on the Her-meneutics blog are aware that they are regurgitating some of the same lies that Satan has been foisting off on mankind since the fall in the Garden? That the naked female form...and by extension (once again, don't go there)...the naked male form are things to be hidden. That we simply cannot control our urges and lust, so the only other option is a burka.

Don't you find it curious that in all the admonitions to sexual purity in the writings of the Apostle Paul, he never comments on the fact that public nudity was common and accepted throughout most of the Greco-Roman culture. Even among the more modest Jews, baptism took place in the nude. Jesus does not tell his followers to never look at a woman (a teaching of the Pharisees) but rather, to never look at a woman with lustful intent.

The tree that Adam and Eve ate from was the tree of the knowledge of good AND evil. Up to that point, they had only known good. It is interesting that it is only after they come to know evil that they become ashamed of their bodies. And if you continue reading, it is God himself who makes them clothing. God is the original fashion designer. But you have to wonder if God's heart wept as he watched man and woman cover up His creation.

Yes, we live in a fallen, broken world. And yes, the lust of man (and woman) have grown strong. But is that God's fault, or Satan's ? In parts of the world that have not been corrupted by the Victorian Ethic...which told us that ANYTHING related to the body or bodily functions is evil...the sight of a man or woman bathing in a stream or lying on the beach has little effect. In our culture, a man walking by a bowl with two grapefruit suddenly feels the need for a cold shower. Is that God's fault or Satan's.

We must always be reminded that it is BECAUSE we live in a world influenced by Satan that we must be careful in what we look at...or allow on the magazine covers in the supermarket. It is because we have totally sexualized the human body that we now have to be careful in how we allow our children to dress or act. It is expressly because Satan has influenced culture to define the perfect male and female form that we have to pay psychologist to help us with self-image and self-esteem issues.

Once upon a time the Creator of the universe looked upon the naked bodies of a man and a woman...and He said "It is good." I wonder if one day in the future, that same Creator will look upon the glorified bodies of those in His Kingdom and utter the same words. Some use bad exegesis to argue that there will not be male or female in the Kingdom. But I personally believe that a God who is the same yesterday, today and forever will stick with a good thing.

So when I finally see a copy of Elle magazine on a newsstand (the local market was pressured by complaints and have covered the display), I think I'll ignore the obvious airbrushing of stretch marks, and the lack of a wedding ring on Ms. Simpson's hand. Instead, I believe I'll offer up this simple prayer; "Way to go God...sorry we allowed Satan to screw it all up."

I Think I Might Be Wee-weed Up

I’m sitting in the Salt Lake City Airport, surrounded by Mormon assault troops in white shirts and ties, and I’m about to do something I never thought I would do (no, I’m not converting...one wife is enough). I’m about to agree with and quote Sarah Palin. From FOX News no less.

Her brilliant and insightful comments were in response to attacks on Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum, after the Drudge Report published a message he gave in a church during the 2008 presidential campaign. Here is an excerpt from that message:

"This is a spiritual war. And the Father of Lies has his sights on what you would think the Father of Lies would have his sights on: a good, decent, powerful, influential country - the United States of America. If you were Satan, who would you attack in this day and age?"


"Satan is attacking the great institutions of America, using those great vices of pride, vanity, and sensuality as the root to attack all of the strong plants that has so deeply rooted in the American tradition. He attacks all of us and he attacks all of our institutions."

Now if you are one of the Christians that make up roughly 82% of the U.S. population, you probably have little trouble with that statement. Even if you are just one of those folk who believe in Satan, even if you don’t believe in God (I know that doesn’t make much sense, but they are out there), then you probably have blamed Satan for the economy, terrorism and reality television.

But if you are in the mainstream media, Santorum’s statement…in a church, no less…make him a wild-eyed radical threat to all that make our nation great. And in the blogosphere, comments like the following abound:

From cqtestk4xs...Ooooh, do you believe in the great big bad Satan. He has his sights set on America. Does this sound a bit like some wild eyed fanatical religious jihadist Moslem to anyone besides me? The only thing is, it's some wild eyed religious Christian zealots who would like to be president. Scary, isn't it?

So why am I suddenly in agreement with Palin? No, this is not an endorsement for Santorum, Palin or FOX News. That said, I have to agree with Palin’s comments, even if I find her use of the English language a bit disturbing. So here we go...

"They will attack any conservatives who boldly proclaims their faith and talks about there is good in the world and there's evil in the world and that's what Rick Santorum was talking about," explained Palin. "And this was a speech that he gave back in 2008, where he named evil as Satan. And for these lame-stream media characters to get all wee-weed up about that, first you have to ask yourself, 'Have they ever attended a Sunday school class even? Have they never heard of this terminology before?" And that's why they got so, you know, just whacked out about the speech."

So there you have it...lame-stream media strikes again, and I’m wee-weed up. But I see a restroom sign just down the concourse, so I think I’m ok.

Then They Came For The Jews

First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out —
Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists,
and I did not speak out —
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.


Then they came for the Jews, and I did
not speak out — Because I was not a Jew.


Then they came for me — and there was
no one left to speak for me.


- German pastor Martin Niemoeller, reflecting on the Nazi terror


In a conversation the other day with a fellow pastor, the talk turned to the Obama Administration's refusal to grant religious organizations an exemption from purchasing health insurance that covers abortion-inducing drugs, surgical sterilization, and contraception. My companion's comment put this egregious and dangerous violation of religious liberty totally into perspective.

"Good for the Catholics! It's about time they get what they deserve for supporting such a liberal administration."

Since I've never discovered a polite way of telling someone they are dumber than a sack of turnips, I excused myself and went to the restroom. When I returned my friend was on his cell phone, and my urge to strangle him had passed.

Are we, who profess the evangelical Christian faith really so naive (the polite word for "dumber than a sack of turnips) as to believe that the president's recent decision only infringes on the Catholic Church's freedom of religion, and we are all somehow still safe? Is our Catholic bias so strong...and with it our apparent ignorance of our reformational origins...that it is somehow OK when discrimination happens to "them?"

At a time when New York City schools have given Christian churches until this weekend to find another place to meet, because while "religious services" are still permitted on school property, Christian "worship services" are now prohibited. (And yes, the Supreme Court has already refused to overturn this decision.)

At a time when the United States Air Force has removed the word "God" from their Rapid Capabilities logo. The previous moto read "Opus Dei Cum Pecunia Alienum Efficemus" (Doing God's Work with Other People's Money). It's now changed to "Miraculi Cum Pecunia Alienum Efficemus" (Doing Miracles with Other People's Money).

At a time when the Supreme Court has ruled that the will of the people of California regarding Proposition 8 (a ban against same-sex marriage) is unconstitutional...

At times like this, can we really ignore ANY shot fired at ANY portion of the Christian community? Why am I hearing talking heads on major Christian television networks making statements like "Well, we'll just have to see how the Catholic Church fares under these new rulings."

We evangelicals must follow the lead of men like Chuck Colson and stand unequivocally with our Roman Catholic brothers and sisters. Because when the government violates the religious liberty of one group, it threatens the religious liberty of all. We should be writing and calling our representatives and senators. Our voices should be heard along with those of Catholic bishops and university presidents.

Because if this bone-headed ruling is allowed to stand, what (or who) comes next? Tax exemptions? Clergy housing allowances? Requirements for ALL clergy to perform same-sex marriages or face fines (if you don't think that can happen, talk to some of our brothers and sisters in Canada).

Then they came for the Catholics, and I did
not speak out — Because I was not a Catholic.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. or G.T.F.O.

When I was in the second grade my teacher, Mrs. Fauzy (Mrs Fuzzy behind her back) called my parents into a meeting to complain about how I was treating her. She told my father that I was to immediately cease from saying "Yes Ma'am" or "No Ma'am," as it made her feel "old." For what it's worth, she was old, but that is not the point. My father explained...very emphatically...to Mrs Fauzy that I had been taught to show respect by saying "Yes Ma'am" and "Yes Sir" and that I would continue to do so, regardless of what a teacher might expect. A letter to the school principal backed that statement up, and I really didn't care much for second grade after that.


I'm in my fifties now (I know...it's hard to believe), but that sense of respect still remains. I'm not so offended by the biting satire in some to the political posts that show up daily on Facebook. After all, find a candidate who DOESN'T have something to take a shot at. Our previous president made some of the most inane statements ever recorded in the White House. If I ever slaughter the English language that badly, my wife will have the comment printed on a T-shirt.

It's not the satire that bothers me. It's not even the mean-spirited attacks where an attack may be due. It's the total lack of respect for the office that is demonstrated by those who post, and those who respond. Not only is it destructive in this country, but it just adds fuel to the anti-American fire that burns around the world.

And let's face it...that fire doesn't really need any more fuel. We may be one of the greatest nations on the planet, but we still collectively do things that make us look dumber than the fans at a monster truck rally. We would love to be known for our humanitarian aid and constitutional freedom. Instead we are known for The Jersey Shore, TSA and soldiers urinating on dead Taliban fighters.

An old photo is circulating around Facebook of President Obama standing with his hands folded in the "fig leaf" position while everyone else on stage has their hand over their heart during the singing of the National Anthem. I'm not going to defend the President's actions. Granted, few people still do the hand-over-heart thing while singing (Google any sporting event and watch the crowd). And there are dozens of photos of the President WITH hand over heart. But President Obama is a politician, and as such, should know better. You always sample whatever the local cuisine throws at you...you always kiss the baby, no matter how ugly...and you always look patriotic, even if Rosanne Barr is singing. (I did watch the actual video, and to be honest, the way that singer was screeching out the words, I too would have been tempted to cover my crotch or my ears BEFORE covering my heart).

No, the President's actions deserve comment and criticism. But he is still the President of the United states, and those comments need to reflect that. Use the titles of President or Mr. Lose the cute slang pronunciations of the President's name. Stop showing your complete ignorance by using racial slurs. I get that you didn't vote for him, and you won't vote for him again. We all know that YOUR GUY would have already fixed the economy, saved the environment, created so many jobs we would have to import workers (thereby solving the immigration problems), and we would be drilling for oil in all the national parks. But until the next election, Barack Obama is still the President.

So if you post some political tirade to Facebook, fine. I'll look at it, and I may even hit the "like" button. But show the office the RESPECT deserved, regardless of the man. If not, don't be surprised to get a response from me tell in you to...as they would say in King James English...Get Thy Facebook in Order (What did you think the title of this blog meant?)