I knew better. You fly enough, you should know the rules. When you go through the full-body scanner you must remove everything from your pockets. I forgot my wallet.
So here I am, watching a highly-trained TSA agent take my wallet apart (as if I might have a pound or two of ammonium nitrate explosive hidden between my family photo and my pastors' discount card for the Tree of Life bookstore) while another security "expert" is fondling my crotch and ass.
It's been a long trip. I'm not feeling all that well. My tolerance for morons in uniform is at a dangerous low. There is another flight out in a couple of hours if...for some reason...I should be "delayed." Everything is in perfect order for me to cause someone to regret their employment choice. All that is left is to decide on the appropriate volume for the coming tirade.
But before I can utter the brilliant (yet cutting) comment to the troll still amusing himself with my wallet, the calm of the security screening area is shattered by a loud male voice shouting "Are you f___ing KIDDING me?" A small child begins to wail, and the voice continues "This has got to be some kind of f___ing joke!"
Wow, I think. That is far better than the snarky comment I was going to make. As Charleston Hesston said in the Ten Commandments, when seeing the burning bush from a distance, "I must go and see this thing." So as I put on my shoes, belt, watch, cell phone, glasses (and what was left of my dignity), I moved to see what the commotion was about.
The short version of the story was this. Mom, Dad and (I'm guessing) four-year-old daughter are coming back from a trip to Disneyland. Daughter's souvenir from the trip was a Disney Princess snow globe. Disney princess snow globes are on the official TSA no-fly list, so a dutiful and ever-vigilant agent has taken the snow globe from the child's Little Mermaid backpack and has thrown it into the bin of other extremely dangerous confiscated liquids (mostly oversized bottles of mouthwash). Child is wailing, and Dad has crossed the line from annoyed to full-blown anger. Others in line are joining in verbal abuse of the TSA agent.
The scene resembled recent news reports from Egypt. Security agents were arriving from other screening stations. And I swear people in line were scanning the floor for rocks to throw. My participation was neither needed or called for, so I went on to catch my flight.
I shared the story will a fellow passenger. She looked at me smugly and declared "I feel for the little girl, but personally, I'm willing to do anything to make sure flying is safe."
Really? Anything? I can't wait to hear her response when someone inevitably smuggles an explosive device "inside" their body, where the scanners don't penetrate. Let's see if she feels safer after the rubber gloves are removed.
So we traumatize four-year-olds. We publicly embarrass a woman in the Portland airport, as a TSA agent makes her explain (in front of dozens of other passengers) that the bulk the agent is feeling during the pat-down is an adult Depends diaper. Or the elderly black man in Orlando that had to show the agent (and everyone else in line) his colostomy bag. Or the veteran forced at LAX to remove his prosthetic leg to go through the screening. Or the additional screening and the interview I had to endure because I made a last minute change to my flight schedule when I found out my Mom had passed away.
Do I feel safer now when I fly? I'll feel safer when we abandon the idiotic screening methods we use in this country (methods that have been proven over and over to not work). I'll feel safer when we adopt methods that do work. I'll feel safer when we stop groping little old ladies, and instead, take a hard look at every traveler who even appears to be of middle eastern decent. And if my darker skin and beard mean that I get groped more often, I'll live.
But I must admit...I would really like to see the Homeland Security briefing on Disney Princess terrorist. I'll bet anything that Princess Jasmine is the ringleader.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Kill All the Heretics
Rob Bell is at it again. The likes of John Piper and Mark Driscoll are sharpening the executioner's axe. And if the volume of references (over 20,000 at last Google count) to an article by Justin Taylor are any indication, the orthodox religious types are gathering in the village square to witness a good old fashion beheading.
So what did Bell do this time to justify such fervent cry of "Off with his head?" We don't really know, because the book that has neo-Calvinists like Piper and Driscoll up in arms hasn't actually been released yet. About all we have is a short promo video and the following description from the publisher.
“Fans flock to his Facebook page, his NOOMA videos have been viewed by millions, and his Sunday sermons are attended by 10,000 parishioners – with a downloadable podcast reaching 50,000 more. An electrifying, unconventional pastor whom Time magazine calls ‘a singular rock star in the church world’, Rob Bell is the most vibrant, central religious leader of the millennial generation. Now, in Love Wins: Heaven, Hell, and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived, Bell addresses one of the most controversial issues of faith – the afterlife – arguing that a loving God would never sentence human souls to eternal suffering. With searing insight, Bell puts hell on trial, and his message is decidedly optimistic – eternal life doesn’t start when we die; it starts right now. And ultimately, Love Wins.”
Based on this, Piper tweets to his loyal following "@JohnPiper “Farwell Rob Bell. http://dsr.gd/fZqmd8”. And the link at the end of the tweet is a link to an article by Justin Taylor, who states, “It is unspeakably sad when those called to be ministers of the Word distort the gospel and deceive the people of God with false doctrine.” Taylor goes on to quote 2 Corinthians 11:14–15 (14 And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. 15 So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. Their end will correspond to their deeds.)
So there you have it. We have no other choice but to kill the heretics before they can do any damage to the movement. And I use the word "movement" intentionally, because killing anyone who might disagree with the early followers of Luther and Calvin seemed to be standard operating procedure. Consider the two following quotes.
“Whoever shall now contend that it is unjust to put heretics and blasphemers to death will knowingly and willingly incur their very guilt.”
And this one:
“Anyone who can be proved to be a seditious person is an outlaw before God and the emperor; and whoever is the first to put him to death does right and well. For if a man is in open rebellion, everyone is both his judge and the executioner; just as when a fire starts, the first man who can put it out is the best man to do the job.”
The first is from John Calvin (after the execution of Servetus for preaching a non-Trinitarian understanding of God). The second is from Martin Luther encouraging the slaughter of peasants (often Anabaptist Christians).” And while John Piper has yet to call for the slaughter of liberal theologians, his "death before debate" approach to the writings of those like Rob Bell and Brian McLaren shows that little has changed over the centuries.
Is Bell a Universalist, as Piper and Taylor claim? I don't think so, but unlike them, I'll need to wait to read the book before I pass judgment. And even then, I think calling Bell a servant of Satan is a little over the top. Even without reading Love Wins: Heaven, Hell, and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived I'm fairly certain that Rob Bell's Hell has a lot fewer inhabitants than Piper's. But then, I don't need Bell to tell me that. All I have to do is actually read scripture. That approach would work for Piper and Driscoll if they could ever take their John Calvin glasses off for a moment.
So what did Bell do this time to justify such fervent cry of "Off with his head?" We don't really know, because the book that has neo-Calvinists like Piper and Driscoll up in arms hasn't actually been released yet. About all we have is a short promo video and the following description from the publisher.
“Fans flock to his Facebook page, his NOOMA videos have been viewed by millions, and his Sunday sermons are attended by 10,000 parishioners – with a downloadable podcast reaching 50,000 more. An electrifying, unconventional pastor whom Time magazine calls ‘a singular rock star in the church world’, Rob Bell is the most vibrant, central religious leader of the millennial generation. Now, in Love Wins: Heaven, Hell, and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived, Bell addresses one of the most controversial issues of faith – the afterlife – arguing that a loving God would never sentence human souls to eternal suffering. With searing insight, Bell puts hell on trial, and his message is decidedly optimistic – eternal life doesn’t start when we die; it starts right now. And ultimately, Love Wins.”
Based on this, Piper tweets to his loyal following "@JohnPiper “Farwell Rob Bell. http://dsr.gd/fZqmd8”. And the link at the end of the tweet is a link to an article by Justin Taylor, who states, “It is unspeakably sad when those called to be ministers of the Word distort the gospel and deceive the people of God with false doctrine.” Taylor goes on to quote 2 Corinthians 11:14–15 (14 And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. 15 So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants of righteousness. Their end will correspond to their deeds.)
So there you have it. We have no other choice but to kill the heretics before they can do any damage to the movement. And I use the word "movement" intentionally, because killing anyone who might disagree with the early followers of Luther and Calvin seemed to be standard operating procedure. Consider the two following quotes.
“Whoever shall now contend that it is unjust to put heretics and blasphemers to death will knowingly and willingly incur their very guilt.”
And this one:
“Anyone who can be proved to be a seditious person is an outlaw before God and the emperor; and whoever is the first to put him to death does right and well. For if a man is in open rebellion, everyone is both his judge and the executioner; just as when a fire starts, the first man who can put it out is the best man to do the job.”
The first is from John Calvin (after the execution of Servetus for preaching a non-Trinitarian understanding of God). The second is from Martin Luther encouraging the slaughter of peasants (often Anabaptist Christians).” And while John Piper has yet to call for the slaughter of liberal theologians, his "death before debate" approach to the writings of those like Rob Bell and Brian McLaren shows that little has changed over the centuries.
Is Bell a Universalist, as Piper and Taylor claim? I don't think so, but unlike them, I'll need to wait to read the book before I pass judgment. And even then, I think calling Bell a servant of Satan is a little over the top. Even without reading Love Wins: Heaven, Hell, and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived I'm fairly certain that Rob Bell's Hell has a lot fewer inhabitants than Piper's. But then, I don't need Bell to tell me that. All I have to do is actually read scripture. That approach would work for Piper and Driscoll if they could ever take their John Calvin glasses off for a moment.
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